DAY 1 (Travel Day) 

The travel day went fairly well all things considered.  Andrew flew in a day early to avoid the snow in Denver and everyone else was pretty much on time except Brett and Jamie.  Their flight was 2 hours delayed and they ended up getting to bed at 2am PST.   That meant that Jamie had been awake for 24 hours straight and it showed.  Driving into the foothills outside Scottsdale, Jamie proudly remarked that it had been a long time since he had been in Atlanta!!!  After Brett informed him that he was actually in Scottsdale, he paused and said he was just going to shut up for the rest of the drive... there is a first time for everything :)

DAY 2 (Rancho Manana)

Breakfast at Denny's was a real treat because we got to watch Mike eat a hamburger and fries at 8am and not have a heart attack.  Then it was off to Golfsmith to pick up the $600 Ping G10 irons that Nick had ordered.  Like they would help his game at all.  We played a little prank on Nick and stole one of his new irons and hid it in the van.  After Nick realized that it was missing he pissed and moaned until the store clerk told him that we put it in the van.  After we went out to the van we somehow convinced Nick that the store clerk was lieing so he wandered back inside to confront him.  We all sat in the van and laughed our asses off when Nick came back out pissed that he just made a jackass of himself.

We got to the course a bit early and spent plenty of time warming up.  Brett got so pissed on the range because his shanks came back with a vengence that he wanted to hurl his clubs into the desert.  However, the defending champ had the first tee honors and managed not to duff, shank, hook, top or otherwise "Jamie" it off the tee.  The course itself was decent but short.  The local lateral hazard rule made it easier for the guys to still score a few points.  In the Residents Cup, Andrew and Mike dispatched Nick and Brett 2 & 1 after a string of three straight holes on the back nine where Brett and Nick failed to score.  The ebony and ivory pairing of Tiger (Chris) and Mike Weir (Rich) also went down 2 &1 due to Rich managing a paltry 5 points on the back nine.

In the stableford competition, Andrew and Chris shared the daily honors with 38 points.  Brett, Jamie, Mike, Nick, Shane and Rich had 34, 32, 31, 30, 28 and 15 points respectively.

Quotes of the day:

"Why are my buttocks sweating so much?" - Mike Jones

"You know how much a fart is going to stink by the amount of heat coming off the backs of your legs" - Nick

"WOW man... your lip gloss is POPPIN'" - Shane

Day 3 (We-Ko-Pa)

The game moved to the wide open fairways and large greens of We-Ko-Pa and the boys took advantage.  Mike made a move and Andrew retained the overall lead while Brett and Nick both retreated.  The Blue team again took both matches with a 4&3 and 5&3 thrashing of the Red team.  The Blue team now leads 4-0 so Red... get the lead out!  Rich set a new tour record with the dubious distinction of having the lowest ever point total (2) on the back nine!  This feat is even more horrendous given the fact that he actually played out every hole!   The scores for the day were Mike (38pts), Shane (35), Andrew (32), Jamie (32), Brett (28), Chris (28), Nick (21) and Rich (16).

The afternoon consisted of the pool and hot tub to ease the pain and suffering.

Quotes of the day:

"Man... it would take me a week to get a 20 year old in Boston" - Brett

"It would take a week and a half... and a bottle of chloroform" - Chris's response to Brett

 "I bet her ex never had to go to Cher" - Shane

"Will you shut the fuck up!" - Jamie to the lady on the green behind him

Day 4 (Eagle Mtn)

The forgiving fairways of the Golf Club at Eagle Mountain was the stop today.  The course is a great desert course but the many bowl shaped fairways help keep the average golfers (that's us) in play.  The Red team got a pep talk from Brett on the first tee as they had yet to win any matches and, by the end of the day, everyone's scores had improved considerably.  The Red team came through with two 2&1 victories to cut the Blue team's lead in half.  In the strokeplay event, Brett held Nick's fragile mental state together and the big man never looked back shooting the low score of the day.  The scores of the day were Nick (42pts), Brett (38), Chris (37), Shane (35), Andrew (34), Mike (29), Rich (28) and Jamie (27).

Quotes of the day:

"The only way to get Flipper (Rich) focused is to dangle bait fish in front of him" - Shane

"If I ever fall into a coma please get Jamie to come and talk to me for the next 7 years" -Shane

"Lotus Notes reduces your email by 90%... that's cause you never even get them" - Shane

"Tell Nick to keep his fingers off my balls" - Mike

Day 5 (Tournament Players Club Scottsdale Stadium Course)

Today, the host of the PGA Tour's FBR Open, the difficult TPC Scottsdale Stadium Course, was the proud host of the BDA Tour.  The course is a little longer than the other stops on the tour and allowed the players to bring out the driver with greater frequency. In spite of Brett's repetitive pep talks, the Blue Team continued to dominate play, winning the first match 6&5.  The second match featured the Tiger-and-Phil (Chris and Brett) dream team versus the Daly-and-Weir (Andrew and Shane) underdog team. Unfortunately for the Red Team, Andrew continued his stellar play, firing another round in the seventies to upset the Red Team on the final hole, 1-up.

The scores of the day were Nick (37), Jamie (36), Andrew (35), Brett (33), Mike, (31), Chris (30), Shane (29), Rich (14). 

 Quotes of the day:

"Don't the voices in your head ever just say, 'Shut the fuck up'." - Andrew 

Andrew: "You're flattering me."
Rich: "Will flattery get me anywhere?"
Andrew: "No...I said, 'You're fatter than me.'"

 Day 6 (and on the 6th day the golfing gods said... rest)

 The rest day is always a veritable mixture of things to do.  Nick, Chris and Brett rented motorcycles (a Harley Road King and two BMW 1200 GS's respectively) and drove to Sedona for the day.  What a fabulous place!!!  The red rock formations were breath-taking and the feel of the open road (and possible death) made the $200 worthwhile.  Shane and Jamie went to play golf at Desert Canyon and the highlight of the round was the cart girl.  They said the course was a goat track.  Rich and Andrew went to rent a boat on the lake and cruised around for an hour or so.  On the way back, they picked up Mike and then promptly ran out of gas in their mini-van... not sure how much of a retard you have to be to run out of gas but it makes you wonder.  Andrew took a cab and left Rich and Mike to fend for themselves in the desert. The day finished with booze, steaks on the BBQ and two wonderful massage therapists who came to the house for many hours and aching muscles.

Quotes of the day:

"You need to play from the ladies tees tomorrow as it seems someone else has your balls" - Shane to Brett

"Oh shit... I forgot to get gas" - Rich

Day 7 (Grayhawk - Talon)

Today was supposed to be moving day on the tight and tough Grayhawk Talon course.  Everyone seemed to struggle a bit and Nick came back to the field.  In the end, the fight for the Wobbly Fat Man became closer as the day ended with six players within 9 shots of the lead with two rounds left.   The Blue team dominated the team matchplay by winning both matches and effectively ending any chance of the Red team catching up on the final day.  The days scores were Chris (34pts), Mike (33), Jamie (32), Brett (31), Andrew (29), Nick (28), Shane (27) and Rich (25).

Quotes of the day:

"I have nothing to say... no sense being rude" - Jamie

"Hey Shane feel free to just hit some else's ball on the 18th" - Brett 

Day 8 (Raven @ South Mtn)

The day started with Chris having a 3 shot lead over Andrew and a 7 shot lead over Mike.  He also faced Mike in the matchplay.  Unfortunately, the PRESSURE got to Chris early on and by the time the first nine holes were done, Chris's lead over Andrew was gone and Mike lurked one shot behind.  Chris redeemed himself on the back nine and the three contenders alternated holding the lead on the back nine.  However, Mike played well enough to secure his first Matchplay plate with a 3&2 victory over Chris.  In the Strokeplay event, Chris was leading by one shot with two holes to play but could only manage a 5 on the tough par 4 17th while Andrew made par / net birdie. Mike ended his chances by chuncking a hybrid into the pond in front of him. On the par 5 final hole, Andrew hit the clutch shot under pressure, sticking a hybrid to 15 feet from 230 yards out.  Chris responded well and had a 12 foot putt for birdie to win.  However, due to the fact that Brett is a moron and didn't have the score right, Chris didn't realize he had to hole it to win.  The missed putt gave Andrew his first Wobbly Fat Man by virtue of the throw-away round tie-breaker rule.  Sorry Chris... you had your chances :)  The day's scores finished with Andrew (39 pts), Mike (39), Chris (36), Brett (36), Nick (34), Shane (30), Rich (28) and Jamie (24).

Quotes of the day:

"Bermuda... that's a real place?" - Hooters girl to Andrew