Andrew joined the tour in 2005 and was that year’s ‘Pro’, with a handicap of 6. He is real long off the tee and has a good all round game as you might expect.  One thing we learned about him is that he’s a bit of a Jeckel & Hyde when it comes to how he approaches the game.  When playing in a club tournament, he puts his game face on and rarely speaks to anyone during the round.  When playing socially he is easy going, relaxed and jovial, however, his game suffers as a consequence.  On the tour Andrew adopts the later attitude and is fun to play with, especially when he's had a case or two of beer ("aiming juice").  He has struggled to play to his low handicap, shooting scores that are mostly in the mid 80’s.  In 2006 he was further hampered with a bad back.  Thank God for the girls at "He's Not Here."  In 2007, Andrew's game suffered after a bad bout with alcoholism coupled with a lack of skill.  2008's performance was also alcohol-hampered. In 2009, Andrew decided he had had enough alcohol-hampered golf, drank responsibly throughout the trip (rarely on the golf course), and captured the coveted wobbly fat man with a dramatic final hole birdie for a round of 74 gross, 2 over par!

Tour attendance: 2005 (5th), 2006 (5th), 2007 (7th), 2008 (5th), 2009 (1st)

What’s in the Bag!

Brett started both the 2004 and 2005 tours but failed to finish either one.  In 2004 it was a work commitment that meant he had to miss the final round.(He finished 3rd).  In 2005 it was his son’s scare with cancer that meant he had to leave halfway through round 6.  After 5 rounds he was only 4 shots back from Shane and very much in the hunt for the wobbly fat man trophy.  He finished 3rd again.   In 2006, it was third time lucky, he managed to stay for the entire trip and in the process won himself the coveted wobbly fat man trophy.  It was a comfortable win, finishing the week on 5 over par and with a 13 stroke lead over a festering and oozing Mike Jones.  Emboldened by his victory in 2006, Brett confidently predicted another win in 2007.  A great start ensured a 11 shot victory despite a heroic last day effort from "Flipper" Munday and unusually good play from "5 Nipple" Faries.  In 2008, Brett boldly predicted a three-peat and, true to his word, he delivered a clutch 7 foot downhill left to right putt to clinch the victory from a cursing Shane!  2009 saw Brett's predictions of a certain four-peat go up in flames as Andrew stayed reasonably sober and roared to victory.

Tour attendance:  2004 (3rd), 2005 (3rd), 2006 (1st), 2007 (1st), 2008 (1st), 2009 (4th)

What’s in the Bag!

Brett describes Chris as a cross between a mafia enforcer and a limo driver.  He has been mistaken for both in the past but rarely at the same time.  It is true that he works in the "construction" industry as a "consultant" but no-one has ever seen him do more than take lunch breaks!  If the other tour members go with him to Vegas they will no doubt find out why he is called "The Love Doctor".  Chris has been playing better over the last couple of years but better by his standard is an unknown quantity.   In 2008, he struggled to find his form and limped to a last place finish.  Chris has been playing quite a bit in 2009 and a couple of weeks ago claimed that he was going to win the wobbly fat man!!  I think he was referring to the 2017 BDA Tour trophy!  Poor, sad, delusional fellow. Further demonstrating his committment to a 2009 victory, Chris attended a golf school immediately preceding to the start of the 2009 tour.  Unfortunately, the wobbly fat man was snatched from his grasp by a final hole two-putt birdie by Andrew.

 Tour Attendance: 2008 (6th), 2009 (2nd - by tie-breaker)

Chuck joined the 2003 Tour as a beginner and was given a 42 h’cap.  However after shooting scores of 7 and 9 under and leading at the halfway stage, his h’cap was reduced to a more realistic 33. He eventually finished 5th.  Gifted with natural ability he also has an extremely hot head and has a tendency to self destruct when things don’t go his way.  This can result in him sitting out holes, preferring to stay in the cart with a towel over his head or shot-gunning cans of beer.  These antics were witnessed by Mike and Nick on the final round where Chuck shot 135. (23 over H’Cap).

Tour attenance: 2003 (5th). 

Dean (Nick’s cousin) played in the 2003 BDA Tour, but was only able to play 4 of the 6 rounds due to work commitments.  After 4 rounds Dean was in third position, only 3 shots off the lead.  He has not attended the tour since 2003, but has expressed an interest in rejoining one day. 

Tour attendance: 2003 (6th) 

The 2004 Tour was Hugh’s only appearance to date and what a fine time he had.  He won the wobbly Fat Man trophy with 14 under h’cap, 16 shots ahead of the next closest player.  Four of Hugh’s seven rounds were under par, with his best performance coming in the 6th round at True Blue.  Trailing by 2 going in to this round Hugh shot a gross 79 (-7) to gain a 9 shot lead which he never relinquished.  He was very keen to defend his title in 2005 but other commitments prevented him from coming.   The key to Hugh’s success.. avoiding the bunkers.

Tour attendance: 2004 (1st) 

Jamie is a slightly odd looking bloke from some freaking cold ass place near Fredericton, NB.  His inaugural golfing in Bermuda was during his job interview and he proclaimed a 9 handicap on the first tee.  108 shots later (that is after quitting on 13) we all knew Jamie was a delusional, self-absorbed liar (just like our ex-wives) so he was a perfect fit for the group.  You're hired!!!!  He has since been shooting scores in the 70's and low 80's but will his severely flawed swing hold up to the rigors and mental pressure of the Tour?  NO WAY!!!  This is the idiot who calls a full house with a pair of sixes.

In 2009, Jamie joined the tour and immediately replaced Andrew as the resident alcoholic. Although Jamie played well in the early rounds, he fell apart in the later rounds, finishing 7th in his tour debut.

Tour Attendance: 2009 (7th) 

John appeared in the 2003 BDA Tour where he placed 4th with +27.  He returned to the Tour in 2005 after missing the 2004 season.   On the 2005 tour John struggled with the length of the courses and requested that he be allowed to play off the forward tees. Unfortunately for John this didn’t help his game as he finished last with +77.  Strangely enough John’s best round (net +11) came on day 1 when we played the longest course of the 2005 tour.   

Tour attenance: 2003 (4th), 2005 (8th).  

Keith and Seve share the same birthday and competitive spirit, oh and waywardness off the tee too.  Keith is a 7 handicap, but the weeks leading up to Myrtle 2004 had seen a severe drop in form and unfortunately this continued whilst at Myrtle.  Finishing the week +46 and in 7th place was not what he would have wished for.  However, he more than made up for any disappointment in that department by excelling in the banter and trash talking category.

 Tour attendance: 2004 (7th)

TheTrippmeister accompanied Keith Jones on the 2004 tour. With a 5 h’cap he held the distinction of having the lowest ever BDA Tour h’cap. (That was until 2007 when Nick Mansell +1 joined us) Not long off the tee, but rarely missing a fairway or green, he was impressive every day with his steady performances.  He had the lowest gross score on six of the seven rounds and finished in 4th place with a net score of +15.

Tour attendance: 2004 (4th) 

Between 2003 and 2005 ‘The Gear’ went through some gear.  In 2003 he got a hole in one at Caledonia playing Ping i3+ irons,  by the 2005 tour he had bought about 4 different sets of irons. As for his drivers well there’s been about 6 of them. There seemed to be some method to his this madness however, as his handicap has fallen from 26 to 16. He missed the 2004 season, but rejoined in 2005. Struggling with his form Mark finished 7th with +70. His best round of the week came at Caledonia where he was net +3.

Tour attendance: 2002, 2003 (3rd), 2005 (7th). 

On the 2004 tour Mike injured his knee whilst playing football with Rich. He managed to complete the tour (coming 2nd), but the injury lead to surgery, followed by a long layoff. A month before the 2005 tour it was sore ribs, where a course of anti-inflammatories was needed to ease the discomfort.  2005 was also the year that he had an in-growing toenail removed the day before flying out. Despite all this he finished 2nd again.  In August 2005 a severely sprained wrist kept him from golfing for 4 months.  The first swing of 2006 brought on the sore ribs once again.  Mike finished runner-up for the 3rd year running.  Oh and lets not forget the open weeping blisters that he got from poison ivy.  However, 2007 saw a gigantic mental meltdown by the former lock and he stumbled, cursed and kicked his way to a 6th place finish.  So disgusted was Mike with his play that he quickly took up photography and decided to take a break from the 2008 tour.  Mike's 2009 return to the tour saw Mike capture the match-play championship, winning the silver plate but failing to capture the coveted wobbly fat man. 2009 was also the first year Mike avoided any trips to the hospital, successfully avoiding snakes, cactii, scorpions, birds of prey, and other golf course health hazards.  Mike also successfully avoided polymorphic light exposure illness by enduring the desert heat in pants and long-sleeved shirts.

Tour  attendance: 2003 (1st), 2004 (2nd), 2005 (2nd), 2006 (2nd), 2007 (6th), 2008 (absent), 2009 (3rd)

Nick is one of the original players from 2002.  He is the only player to have been on every trip and played in every round. Playing off a 26-28 handicap he can be fairly competitive, as demonstrated by 2nd place finishes in 2003 & 2007.  2008 saw him drop back to fourth and it also showed off a set of unusual nipples that Nick claims were welts from the many paintballs that peppered his ass!!!  Nick’s main problem (besides being ugly) is always his consistency.  A topped shot, chunked chip or missed putt here and there during the round seem to keep him from shooting sub-par scores.  Still when you consider Nick only plays golf during the 2 months prior to the Tour and his swing is absolute crap, you have to expect him to be a bit inconsistent.  Finishing in the top half of the leader-board constitutes a successful tour... that and not damaging any more rental cars! In 2009, Nick struggled to find the fairways with his fuck-it-I'll-hit-5-iron-off-the-tee slice and dropped to a finish of 5th place.

Tour attendance: 2002, 2003 (2nd), 2004 (8th), 2005 (4th), 2006 (4th), 2007 (2nd tie), 2008 (4th), 2009 (5th) 

What’s in the Bag!

The sometimes employed former Port Royal superintendent, with his plus 1 handicap has a pretty strong golfing resume.  A quick Google search revealed that Nick was the 2006 Bermuda Amateur Match Play Champion and was also one of 3 players representing Bermuda in the 2008 World Amateur Team Championship in South Africa.  Overall the Google search resulted in 17 golf related hits, including sites such as golfdigest.com and golfweekrankings.com. Nick is obviously a great golfer, however, as he normally plays with other low handicap players,  the question remains, will he still be playing well after an afternoon of watching "Fairway" Faries pacing off his putts for 10 minutes and then 4 jacking.  The answer to that question was apparently NO.  Nick played some solid golf but wasn't able to string together 6 rounds of even par or under.  That, after all, is a huge feat.  Nick finished a respectable 4th in 2007 and had a couple of 68's that showed his true talent outside of his "Masters" skills.

Tour Attendance: 2007 (4th) 

Pad was another of the 2004 UK contingent.  He struggled to play to his 13 handicap for most of the tour, playing around bogey golf most days.  Fortunately he will have fond memories of his time at Caledonia where he shot an impressive -4.  Pad finished the tour in 6th place with and overall score of +44.   

Tour attendance: 2004 (6th) 

Rich has attended every myrtle trip to date, including the initial trip in 2002.  In 2003 Rich sprained his thumb after 2 rounds and was unable to play the rest of the tour.  During the 2005 tour Rich came under much stick for his extremely short backswing or more appropriately short arms, hence he acquired the nickname of "Flipper" or "The Great Canadian T-Rex".  Amongst the many insults thrown his way was the call of "Let it ride Thalidomide".    In 2005 he moved to Toronto but was adamant that he would still attend future BDA Tours.   With the golfing season finished by late October, Rich decided to spend the cold winter months playing hockey.  Apparently short arms isn't a huge handicap as long as you can still slam a guy into the boards.   When Rich arrived in Myrtle it was the first time he had swung a club since October, no surprise then, that his new golf swing resembled a perfect slap shot.  After again struggling in 2006, the 2007 tour saw a resurgence in Rich's game and a superhuman -11 on the last day vaulted him into a tie for 2nd with "Fairway" Faries.  2009 was a return to form for Rich.  Shooting a tour-worst +84 for the week, Rich is thinking of returning to tennis as his primary sport.

Tour attendance:  2002, 2003 (dnf), 2004 (5th), 2005 (6th), 2006 (6th), 2007 (2nd tie), 2008 (3rd), 2009 (8th)

Shane won the Wobbly Fat Man trophy on his rookie year (2005) and promptly gained the Sandbagger notoriety.  A +12 score on day 1 had him miserable and distraught.  Mike, feeling sorry for him, gave him some tips and from that point on Shane never looked back.  He shot 4 under par on his next 2 rounds to take the lead, a lead he would never relinquish.  Mike who finished 2nd, 9 shots behind, made a note never to help Shane again.  Shane returned to defend his title in 2006, but finished 3rd, 30 strokes off the lead.  A long night at Masters may have been the difference in 2005 as he was home early in 2006.  In 2007 Shane continued to play poorly and his long work hours and lack of playing time resulted in a dismal 5th place finish for the former champ.   However, a reduction in beer drinking and naked women in 2008 saw a huge resurgence in his game and it came down to the final putt on the final (126th) hole before Shane once again took his ass whoppin' from Brett! In 2009, Shane struggled to return to form and limped home to a martini-inspired 6th-place finish.

Tour attendance:  2005 (1st), 2006 (3rd), 2007 (5th), 2008 (1st*), 2009 (7th)

   * Lost on tie-breaker 

Brett describes Wade as a Sandbagger and favourite to win the Wobbly Fat Man trophy.  That's a pretty serious claim considering Brett is the Sultan of Sandbagging.  I've been trying to dig up some dirt on Wade and although I've spoken to several people who know him, they have all told me what a great guy he is. I'm still a little suspicious of these claims, especially since everyone I've spoken to was a Mid-Oceanite, like Wade.  It makes me nauseous to think how the upper classes are always looking out for each other, Urgh, there we go again, I just vomited on my pants.  In 2007, a nasty sudden illness tied to the consumption of alcohol brought Wade to his knees.  Everyone on tour learned that Wade is a very reserved guy but when he does let loose... LOOK OUT!  Maybe he will let loose on his golf game after finishing 8th in his first (hopefully not last) tour.

 Tour Attendance: 2007 (8th)